who I was meant to be......
haha. I am totally in a Rent kick right now. which ps....if anyone reading this has NOT seen Rent....SHAME ON YOU! And go see it right now. It is my favorite movie. Besides Rocksbury. ANYWAY,
so Brent FINALLY is release from flood duty for the 4th time this year. Sad thing I wont see him until tomorrow because he went to Hettinger to sell fireworks. Anyway...my point on my post today is that I love my husband.
Brent was gone a lot this spring/summer. He left mid April. Was gone almost 30 days, then home for like a week or 2, got activated again, gone a week and a half about, back for like a week, and then gone for another week or so. I dont know my times exactly. But it was like he has home for maybe like 3 weeks total since April. I have gotten so used to him being gone. The kids and I, we super got into a routine. I am so used to being a single mother. In fact, and this sounds super bad, when he came back for the first time, I was super annoyed. We had our routine set and was living it for almost a month, and then here he comes back and literally interupts it. I like things clean, he doesnt. I like to orderlly, he doesnt. I love things planned and scheduled, he doesnt. So see where it was super hard going back to having him here? I know the kids. I know what they like, what they dont, what they eat, when they sleep, which signs show that they are sleepy, crabby, whatever. When Z makes certain noises, I know what she wants. He doesnt. It annoyed me when he was telling me something about Anthony and I was like....no....actually he is just tired. And with Z, its like..no...she doesnt want to be held right now she wants to be put down. Look at her body language, And with Devon..no he never eats Ketchup on anything so quit asking him to put it on his food because he doesnt like it but will eventually just accept it because he feels like he should. So that annoyed me. It was hard. And then as soon as we got into the rhythm of things again, he would leave. This happened 3 times. So it is annoying when at night at this certain time, I watch a show, have a drink, go to bed. I have my rituals. He doesnt partake.
Anyway.........but it is this last time that he was gone, I really began to realize. Of course I can make it on my own. Of course I can do this. But do I want to? It's like.......why would I want to do my daily schedule and routine if I have noone to share it with. This last time is when I realized how much Brent really does mean to me. It is nice to have the house clean....but it sucks when nobody can say the house looks great dear. It is no fun to dance around the kitchen with the kids laughing at you when I dont have anyone to grab me and try to kiss me while I wiggle out of his arms, pretending to be annoyed. We can all make it. We truly have the capability to do so. It's just......this stretch has made me appreciate that the little stupid annoying things that Brent does do.....thats him. I love him for him, as annoying as THAT is. haha.
I am pretty sure my garden is not going to grow very well. I have some corn popping up. My onions, and maybe a strawberry or two. I dont know, maybe it is too early. For depressing. Awe well...next year though we will put the garden above ground with black dirt.
As of thursday, that pretty much marks the countdown to the end of summer. We are busy literally every weekend and during the week I am home with the kids and running here and there and all around. Good times though. I am excited to be in my classroom and getting that up and ready to go.
I had my super good friend taryn come and spend the weekend with me this past weekend. It just felt amazing to talk about good old times, but its like it lingered on it. It is just amazing to see the growth in the friendship and the person, and I honestly dont even have words. I had an amazing time.
*I look before I leap, I love margins and discipline. I make lists in my sleep, baby WHATS my SIN! I never quit, I follow through, I hate mess but I LOVE YOU! What to do with my impromptu baby?* (now go watch Rent!)
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Live and let die......
sigh.....why does every good thing come to an end? Why is there death? Why are there "endings"?
Well....duh amy, I am not an idiot, and I am a true and firm believer that you need something of pain or of hurt in order to experience the good and the happiness. How can you be happy or know what "happy" is if you have never hurt? How can you never have a friend if you have not experienced enemies? How can you experience of the joy of something new and birth if you cant endure the pain of death and of ending?
Living "on the ranch" (which by the way ....I still dont know what I am calling my place. It is NOT a farm. But is it a ranch? What classifies something as a ranch??? I dunno.....what do you call a place that is almost 8 acres, but no animals....well unless you call 2 hooligans and a princess animals.....no "outside structures (meaning barns or whatever", but just a giant house a 2 stall garage? And dont forget the beat down ford in our yard and an attempt at a garden. And a trampoline and a huge playground......oh and dont forget our ponds.....yeah not really.....they are where the stupid water doesnt drain properly so we have like 3 ponds on our property.....gross.)
point aside....We had a nest with 4 eggs. remember when I mowed the lawn and a momma bird attacked me? Well we were checking and 2 babies hatched!!!!! But like 2 days later, they are gone, mom is no where to be found, and there still lays 2 eggs....unhatched. abandoned. This...just makes me sad. I cant handle death. And like killing things......I cant stand it. Why do we get the priority in our lives to make it ok to go out and shoot stuff? Why? Why do we get to say that animals are "less" than what we are so we can shoot them? Ok ok ok....now before I get a bunch of haters and people calling me PETA. I DO eat meat. I love meat. I KNOW we need to hunt deer. I know we need to control the population of certain species because their predators are more scarce then they are (which....caused by "us".....just saying....). Anyway, I know the reason. My husband hunts. My boys hunt. They have guns. My inlaws hunt. I support them.........but I just cant handle it. I have a hard time. Even killing little bastards of mice that go into my house......I hate it. I mean its like the mouse was like "hehe....I am going to get that Amy and walk all over her house! hehe". No, they were just trying to find a home for themselves and their families. Isn't that what we are all trying to do? but does that mean I am going to let every fly, spider, mouse, or whatever the hell live in my house.......hells no. I just.......really struggle with it. I do. Its hard.
But again, it's not going to stop me from enjoying a big juicy steak either......I just cant think about it........
I also hate the endings of things. I still really struggle with endings of relationships. It just kills me. There is one that I am thinking about in particular and it truly just kills me and makes me upset. But what can I do about it.....I have tried. I know, I am not innocent in the fizzle either....I could have played a more reactive role and been a better participant in our friendship.......but it doesnt make my hurt any less and I am not saying she might not be hurting either. I wonder.....how far is something gone before you can try and revive it again??? My super really good friend who I literally talk to all day long everyday, we were so close and then we fizzled out in college, but now just recently....like middle last year....started talking again, and ha! Its amazing. I love it. I love her. and I love our friendship. I would be nothing without her. Everyday she helps me with little struggles and getting me through the hills and the rollercoaster that comes with being a foster mommy and a mommy and a wife. And that relationship was "brought back together"....so does that mean I can get back together with that other friend, or is it too far gone? How far gone is gone???????
There was something else I was going to write about and now I forgot........
oh! Tiny princess pea....ugh....my heart just hurts......she got her first owie and I feel so seriously terribly bad I could just cry. We were outside playing a bit, just to get some fresh air, and I needed to pick up toys because we needed to mow the lawn, so I put her in one of those push cars or whatever that you need to move with your feet so its an open bottom. Well I kind of wasnt even thinking completely, and she was enjoying herself being pushed a little bit here and there and moving. She was such a princess in her convertible. Well then anthony decided he wanted to push her, and he was doing good, But then he went and pushed her and he jerked it too much where she kind of went forward, and so she ended up like kneeling down in that little opening, and of course I freaked out, and she was just fine, but now she has a little scrap on her knee, and I feel so horrible. She cried a little bit, probably more because I freaked out and screamed and grabbed her. But then as soon as I was holding her, she was just fine. And she didnt even bleed or anything. It just a scruff up, but ugh. It just hurts my heart. And it doesnt help that she hasnt been feeling good these past 2 days. ugh. sad sad day.
On a slightly positive note.....I signed my contract for my teaching job today!!!! woohoo. I am so pumped. Only 5 more days of summer school, and then I have a month really of summer, and then in AUgust I have vacation and need to get busy with school! Wow, time flies by too fast.
Well....duh amy, I am not an idiot, and I am a true and firm believer that you need something of pain or of hurt in order to experience the good and the happiness. How can you be happy or know what "happy" is if you have never hurt? How can you never have a friend if you have not experienced enemies? How can you experience of the joy of something new and birth if you cant endure the pain of death and of ending?
Living "on the ranch" (which by the way ....I still dont know what I am calling my place. It is NOT a farm. But is it a ranch? What classifies something as a ranch??? I dunno.....what do you call a place that is almost 8 acres, but no animals....well unless you call 2 hooligans and a princess animals.....no "outside structures (meaning barns or whatever", but just a giant house a 2 stall garage? And dont forget the beat down ford in our yard and an attempt at a garden. And a trampoline and a huge playground......oh and dont forget our ponds.....yeah not really.....they are where the stupid water doesnt drain properly so we have like 3 ponds on our property.....gross.)
point aside....We had a nest with 4 eggs. remember when I mowed the lawn and a momma bird attacked me? Well we were checking and 2 babies hatched!!!!! But like 2 days later, they are gone, mom is no where to be found, and there still lays 2 eggs....unhatched. abandoned. This...just makes me sad. I cant handle death. And like killing things......I cant stand it. Why do we get the priority in our lives to make it ok to go out and shoot stuff? Why? Why do we get to say that animals are "less" than what we are so we can shoot them? Ok ok ok....now before I get a bunch of haters and people calling me PETA. I DO eat meat. I love meat. I KNOW we need to hunt deer. I know we need to control the population of certain species because their predators are more scarce then they are (which....caused by "us".....just saying....). Anyway, I know the reason. My husband hunts. My boys hunt. They have guns. My inlaws hunt. I support them.........but I just cant handle it. I have a hard time. Even killing little bastards of mice that go into my house......I hate it. I mean its like the mouse was like "hehe....I am going to get that Amy and walk all over her house! hehe". No, they were just trying to find a home for themselves and their families. Isn't that what we are all trying to do? but does that mean I am going to let every fly, spider, mouse, or whatever the hell live in my house.......hells no. I just.......really struggle with it. I do. Its hard.
But again, it's not going to stop me from enjoying a big juicy steak either......I just cant think about it........
I also hate the endings of things. I still really struggle with endings of relationships. It just kills me. There is one that I am thinking about in particular and it truly just kills me and makes me upset. But what can I do about it.....I have tried. I know, I am not innocent in the fizzle either....I could have played a more reactive role and been a better participant in our friendship.......but it doesnt make my hurt any less and I am not saying she might not be hurting either. I wonder.....how far is something gone before you can try and revive it again??? My super really good friend who I literally talk to all day long everyday, we were so close and then we fizzled out in college, but now just recently....like middle last year....started talking again, and ha! Its amazing. I love it. I love her. and I love our friendship. I would be nothing without her. Everyday she helps me with little struggles and getting me through the hills and the rollercoaster that comes with being a foster mommy and a mommy and a wife. And that relationship was "brought back together"....so does that mean I can get back together with that other friend, or is it too far gone? How far gone is gone???????
There was something else I was going to write about and now I forgot........
oh! Tiny princess pea....ugh....my heart just hurts......she got her first owie and I feel so seriously terribly bad I could just cry. We were outside playing a bit, just to get some fresh air, and I needed to pick up toys because we needed to mow the lawn, so I put her in one of those push cars or whatever that you need to move with your feet so its an open bottom. Well I kind of wasnt even thinking completely, and she was enjoying herself being pushed a little bit here and there and moving. She was such a princess in her convertible. Well then anthony decided he wanted to push her, and he was doing good, But then he went and pushed her and he jerked it too much where she kind of went forward, and so she ended up like kneeling down in that little opening, and of course I freaked out, and she was just fine, but now she has a little scrap on her knee, and I feel so horrible. She cried a little bit, probably more because I freaked out and screamed and grabbed her. But then as soon as I was holding her, she was just fine. And she didnt even bleed or anything. It just a scruff up, but ugh. It just hurts my heart. And it doesnt help that she hasnt been feeling good these past 2 days. ugh. sad sad day.
On a slightly positive note.....I signed my contract for my teaching job today!!!! woohoo. I am so pumped. Only 5 more days of summer school, and then I have a month really of summer, and then in AUgust I have vacation and need to get busy with school! Wow, time flies by too fast.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Summer Lovin....
Happened so fast!
Oh man I love summer. Bum deal though, its almost the end of June, and we really havent even had summer weather! A few days, but other than that, its been so cloudy and windy and really quite yuck!
So I think my plans to get a pool this year is kaboshed. It makes me sad, but really what else can I do? I figure, June is almost done. Then we have July then comes August. (yah! I know my months!) July we are gone for the first week because of fireworks. In that time we will probably only get a handful of times to really swim. Come august we have our family vacation, then school starts, and I will literally be bringing the kids to my classroom with me to get stuff done! I have so much to do in a short amount of time. Then once AUgust is here and come, then school is in session and we dont have time for a pool because we will need to start taking it down. SO this year.....sadly......no pool. :0( major let down. Major sad day. BUT next year.
Speaking of next year....WE STILL HAVE NOT got our stupid tax credit check!!! ugh. Once we get that, it is going to make a huge difference in our lives. ugh. Is all I can say.
Yesterday I was reading a caringbridge site for some old friends that we worked with and Brent played softball with. Anyway, their little boy, when they went to pick him up from daycare one day back in October, they found him in his playpen blue and not breathing. They thought they were going to loose him and he has come a long way since thank to medical intervention and everything, but wow. Last night just reading the journal updates and seeing a little clip of him. I wanted to cry. This little boy has made such huge leaps and bounds, but he still he such a long road ahead of him. And my heart just breaks for the family, because there is literally so little they can do and they are dealing with everything emotional with this, and then dealing with financially trying to help their son with a nurse and all the meds. It's just.......wow. It really makes you step back and realize....yah....I DO have a lot of problems and a lot I need to deal with in my life, but man just being able to go to work and not wondering if today my kid will need to be rushed to the ER or thinking and worrying about insurance or how many times my child will throw up/ have a seizure today. wow. Honestly....I dont know how this family does it. I know we each take our own cross and we bear it. It's just what we do. We take our life, and thats what we have to do. wow. So if you are reading this, please send that family a prayer or two to make sure their little guy continues on the road to recovery and that their family continues the way they are now.
And in ending this blog post....a little letter.....
Dear Tornadoes,
Listen, I know I have a super cool house. I get it. And now that we have a trampoline and a playground....it is even more awesome. Yes I am aware of this........but....if you dont mind not "dropping by" all the time.....I would appreciate that. I mean....even you taking a "little peek" in your funnel cloud of yours......yah....Im not liking that so much either. The bizzo rain you keep bringing along with.... it is making huge holes in my garden. At least wait till I get some darn gutters on my house so I dont have holes around my house.
Thanks friend. Much appreciated.....lets just stick to facebook next time.....
Sincerely yours......
Amy Lynn
Oh man I love summer. Bum deal though, its almost the end of June, and we really havent even had summer weather! A few days, but other than that, its been so cloudy and windy and really quite yuck!
So I think my plans to get a pool this year is kaboshed. It makes me sad, but really what else can I do? I figure, June is almost done. Then we have July then comes August. (yah! I know my months!) July we are gone for the first week because of fireworks. In that time we will probably only get a handful of times to really swim. Come august we have our family vacation, then school starts, and I will literally be bringing the kids to my classroom with me to get stuff done! I have so much to do in a short amount of time. Then once AUgust is here and come, then school is in session and we dont have time for a pool because we will need to start taking it down. SO this year.....sadly......no pool. :0( major let down. Major sad day. BUT next year.
Speaking of next year....WE STILL HAVE NOT got our stupid tax credit check!!! ugh. Once we get that, it is going to make a huge difference in our lives. ugh. Is all I can say.
Yesterday I was reading a caringbridge site for some old friends that we worked with and Brent played softball with. Anyway, their little boy, when they went to pick him up from daycare one day back in October, they found him in his playpen blue and not breathing. They thought they were going to loose him and he has come a long way since thank to medical intervention and everything, but wow. Last night just reading the journal updates and seeing a little clip of him. I wanted to cry. This little boy has made such huge leaps and bounds, but he still he such a long road ahead of him. And my heart just breaks for the family, because there is literally so little they can do and they are dealing with everything emotional with this, and then dealing with financially trying to help their son with a nurse and all the meds. It's just.......wow. It really makes you step back and realize....yah....I DO have a lot of problems and a lot I need to deal with in my life, but man just being able to go to work and not wondering if today my kid will need to be rushed to the ER or thinking and worrying about insurance or how many times my child will throw up/ have a seizure today. wow. Honestly....I dont know how this family does it. I know we each take our own cross and we bear it. It's just what we do. We take our life, and thats what we have to do. wow. So if you are reading this, please send that family a prayer or two to make sure their little guy continues on the road to recovery and that their family continues the way they are now.
And in ending this blog post....a little letter.....
Dear Tornadoes,
Listen, I know I have a super cool house. I get it. And now that we have a trampoline and a playground....it is even more awesome. Yes I am aware of this........but....if you dont mind not "dropping by" all the time.....I would appreciate that. I mean....even you taking a "little peek" in your funnel cloud of yours......yah....Im not liking that so much either. The bizzo rain you keep bringing along with.... it is making huge holes in my garden. At least wait till I get some darn gutters on my house so I dont have holes around my house.
Thanks friend. Much appreciated.....lets just stick to facebook next time.....
Sincerely yours......
Amy Lynn
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Green Acres is the place to be....
farm living is the life for me!
Ok not really.......but I do have to say, as I am driving home and just being in the town of good ol M.anvel........I love love love the feeling. I drive home, and barely anyone is on my road. Even the road that I turn on to go by my house......the only people who drive that road are me, and my neighbors because nobody else lives there! So if you see a suspicious car......it makes you go hmmmmmm....and that rarely ever happens, so I feel totally safe with my kids! I know they can ride bike in our driveway and I know they will be safe. I still do not let them on the road because of the tractors and stuff from my neighbor. My neighbor to my left in a farmer.....and the field is to my right (they live on my left......and their field is like behind their house, my house (I actually own 2 acres in which they farm), and then the other neighbors house and then it pushes still past that house......and their entrance into their field is by the other neighbors house so they have to drive past both of our houses to get to that entrance point. So going on the road on their bikes is a HUGE nono in my book. When youre in a big tractor, I highly doubt they can see a little 4 year old on a huffy. But anyway, they are so good about it. We drive home, and Anthony goes....Oh look theres Star! (the other neighbors horse). And it is just the feeling that you get. All the tractors are out. And when they are coming in from the field....yah it's kinda annoying having to pass them all....but they pull over and they wave, and they are just all so friendly! In town......well I dont really call M.anvel town....I still call GF town, so when I am going "to town" that means GF. But in M.anvel......people are driving around in their go carts and their golf carts. It just makes sense. The whole town pretty much participates in sports, so at TBall last night it was like everyone was there. It was a great time. Everyone is just so friendly and laid back almost.
I do love it. I was doing yard work with the kids yesterday, and it was a lot of work to even finish up some mowing and to move some things to the back of the house and everything to make things look good. The garden is a lot of work because I was trying to water it, and of course stupid little things would happen, like the hose would kink or this or that, so I would have to run back up to the house, fix it, then run ALL the way back to the garden. THEN to realize still something needed to be "done" so I would have to run back up to the house. sigh. AND of course, peanut and anthony REFUSED to let me leave them, so I put them in the jogging stroller, and so when I was running back and forth to the house to the garden, I had to push the darn stroller. ugh. But whatever. I got it done.
I am so sore though. Literally, I have ran now for so long and I have never felt this sore. I was running 5 miles and never felt this sore. I was lifting weights almost daily, and never felt this sore. And all I was doing were "chores". It does put a different perspective on things. I am grateful for where we live and I am glad that the kids will grow up in a calm peaceful environment. Granted, I make it crazy sometimes because I feel like things need to BE DONE NOW! But this is truly helping me, because then I am even realizing that I need and HAVE to take baby steps. I cant have everything done now. It was easier before in our little house. I could get the lawn mowed in 20 minutes. I had the yard sprayed in 10. Now.......it took me 45 minutes to push mow around the house and the deck where the rider cant reach. I look at the yard now, and I am like HOLY SHIT! I almost need to mow again!!!!! So I need to think of a game plan. I cant waste 6 hours mowing every week. I am thinking maybe like do half the yard this week, then the other half next week, and then I will be on a every other week schedule. Because now this weekend the playground is going up (hopefully) so that is just more area to push mow around.
haha. I laugh at how I pictured my life. Honestly. I KNEW I would be rich, and all manicured and done up and have a big house and everything. hahaha. Look at me now. My nails are ugly. My hair is probably atrocious. Its frizzy from the sun. I am breaking out in some kind of I dont know like on my chest and arms. haha. Maybe too much hard work! haha. No I am wondering if its the sun. BUT at least.....I have my big house. I love love LOVE our house. I love our yard. I am getting so nice and tan, and I am staying super skinny because of all the hard work and not having time to eat! Granted I am a single mom right now, and will be until July. BUT I love my babies. I am not rich, but I have money in the bank (enough for me to get S.tarbucks everyday I do go into town. hehe). I dont know. I am blessed. I am very happy. I have family and friends who are helping me out MEGA time when Brent is gone and I super appreciate it! I am happy. I really really and I would change it for the world......even if there are STUPID birds probably nesting in my garage....and I cant get them out!!!! ahhhhhh.
Ok not really.......but I do have to say, as I am driving home and just being in the town of good ol M.anvel........I love love love the feeling. I drive home, and barely anyone is on my road. Even the road that I turn on to go by my house......the only people who drive that road are me, and my neighbors because nobody else lives there! So if you see a suspicious car......it makes you go hmmmmmm....and that rarely ever happens, so I feel totally safe with my kids! I know they can ride bike in our driveway and I know they will be safe. I still do not let them on the road because of the tractors and stuff from my neighbor. My neighbor to my left in a farmer.....and the field is to my right (they live on my left......and their field is like behind their house, my house (I actually own 2 acres in which they farm), and then the other neighbors house and then it pushes still past that house......and their entrance into their field is by the other neighbors house so they have to drive past both of our houses to get to that entrance point. So going on the road on their bikes is a HUGE nono in my book. When youre in a big tractor, I highly doubt they can see a little 4 year old on a huffy. But anyway, they are so good about it. We drive home, and Anthony goes....Oh look theres Star! (the other neighbors horse). And it is just the feeling that you get. All the tractors are out. And when they are coming in from the field....yah it's kinda annoying having to pass them all....but they pull over and they wave, and they are just all so friendly! In town......well I dont really call M.anvel town....I still call GF town, so when I am going "to town" that means GF. But in M.anvel......people are driving around in their go carts and their golf carts. It just makes sense. The whole town pretty much participates in sports, so at TBall last night it was like everyone was there. It was a great time. Everyone is just so friendly and laid back almost.
I do love it. I was doing yard work with the kids yesterday, and it was a lot of work to even finish up some mowing and to move some things to the back of the house and everything to make things look good. The garden is a lot of work because I was trying to water it, and of course stupid little things would happen, like the hose would kink or this or that, so I would have to run back up to the house, fix it, then run ALL the way back to the garden. THEN to realize still something needed to be "done" so I would have to run back up to the house. sigh. AND of course, peanut and anthony REFUSED to let me leave them, so I put them in the jogging stroller, and so when I was running back and forth to the house to the garden, I had to push the darn stroller. ugh. But whatever. I got it done.
I am so sore though. Literally, I have ran now for so long and I have never felt this sore. I was running 5 miles and never felt this sore. I was lifting weights almost daily, and never felt this sore. And all I was doing were "chores". It does put a different perspective on things. I am grateful for where we live and I am glad that the kids will grow up in a calm peaceful environment. Granted, I make it crazy sometimes because I feel like things need to BE DONE NOW! But this is truly helping me, because then I am even realizing that I need and HAVE to take baby steps. I cant have everything done now. It was easier before in our little house. I could get the lawn mowed in 20 minutes. I had the yard sprayed in 10. Now.......it took me 45 minutes to push mow around the house and the deck where the rider cant reach. I look at the yard now, and I am like HOLY SHIT! I almost need to mow again!!!!! So I need to think of a game plan. I cant waste 6 hours mowing every week. I am thinking maybe like do half the yard this week, then the other half next week, and then I will be on a every other week schedule. Because now this weekend the playground is going up (hopefully) so that is just more area to push mow around.
haha. I laugh at how I pictured my life. Honestly. I KNEW I would be rich, and all manicured and done up and have a big house and everything. hahaha. Look at me now. My nails are ugly. My hair is probably atrocious. Its frizzy from the sun. I am breaking out in some kind of I dont know like on my chest and arms. haha. Maybe too much hard work! haha. No I am wondering if its the sun. BUT at least.....I have my big house. I love love LOVE our house. I love our yard. I am getting so nice and tan, and I am staying super skinny because of all the hard work and not having time to eat! Granted I am a single mom right now, and will be until July. BUT I love my babies. I am not rich, but I have money in the bank (enough for me to get S.tarbucks everyday I do go into town. hehe). I dont know. I am blessed. I am very happy. I have family and friends who are helping me out MEGA time when Brent is gone and I super appreciate it! I am happy. I really really and I would change it for the world......even if there are STUPID birds probably nesting in my garage....and I cant get them out!!!! ahhhhhh.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
HOney I love you, but give me park avenue!
Ugh, Seriously, this country living business is driving me insane!!!
Brent is gone for flood duty in Bismarck, so that means I have to do the "chores" myself. This past week I had to mow the lawn. And trust me, that was epic. First it took me for literally fricking forever to get the damn lawnmower started!!!!! I know that makes me sounds like I am an idiot, but it was so complicated!!!! You have to put it in neutral or something dumb, and then push some other button. Then turn the key, and then once you have it started, you need to like push this black thing back in......so complicated. So then I was moving lawn, Not bad. I got majority of the house...ok....like 1/3 of it mowed, and then it started to get tricky. I then had to mow in the back where the sump pump hoses were so I had to constantly yell at Devon (no not because he was in trouble, so he could hear me over the mower) to move the hose this way or that way. Then to even get his attention I had to clap my hands way high over my head. I looked like an idiot. Well then I was mowing, and then pretty soon.....I was like half tire deep in water that still hasnt gone down by the shelter belt!!!! I seriously thought I was going to get stuck! But luckily I made it through. Devon was a great help. Then I got about half the house done. Then it started to get more troublesome. I was mowing by the "shit pile". This is where we have some concrete piled and old telephone poles. Anyway, a momma bird started attacking me!!! I was like what the hell!!!!! Well I then see this nest with eggs in it!!!! So ok, momma bird was freaking out. So then I had to make sure I was directing the lawn mower the correct way so the grass was not shooting out at her. Then I would yell, "its ok ma! I am not gonna hurt your babes!!" each time I passed. And for some reason...this seemed to pacify her.
During this time I almost got the lawn mower stuck in a pile of mud! Luckily I was able to rock it out. Then I go and try to mow part of the ditches. I knew I couldnt get it all because they are VERY slanty. So I made one swipe on the top......with me leaning WAY to one direction. I could just see myself rolling this thing. haha. Then made a couple swipes on the bottom. I had to be very creative because I hate having my body touch grass and trees or whatever, so I had to swing my legs this way and that, and then lift them high in the air because I was not going to let ditch grass or trees touch me. Well on one of the passes I see out of the corner of my eye three hand sized "somethings" run up the ditch in the high grass. So I proceed to scream.....at the top of my lungs......for a whole swipe. Thank Gosh I am in the country or people would think I was dying because I continued to scream. I turned the mower around to maybe hopefully run the damn things over (because I thought they were rats or something).....well here then three little baby......DUCKS.......came out of the grass. Black baby ducks waddling in front of the mower. THEN I started to scream because I felt so bad!!!!!!! I almost ran over tiny little babies!!!!!!!!!! I finished up that ditch, and worked on the other ditch. The other ditch was less epic, but I did get some of it mowed. All in all.....it took me about 8 hours to mow my yard. Yes in that time I had to run into town and get the kids, serve them a quick sandwich, and have some cuddle time......so maybe it took me about 6 hours. I was literally so drained and so tired after that, I could have died.
Fast forward now to today....the kids went to their grandparents this weekend, so I am by myself. Today I decided to plant the garden. That was crazy. ugh. The tiller was awesome and thank God for that!!! But it was SO heavy and it was so hard to maneuver. My hands still just hurt!! I have calluses! My nails are all ruined. I have dirt under my nails! And I even wore my cute rubber black and white boots!!!!!! ugh. Anyway, so I got it all tilled......and it ended up being bigger than what we had meant to because I couldnt control the tiller as well as I thought. SO Instead of a simple garden......Amy now has a massive 30X17 foot garden. yaaaaaahhhhhh folks I might have a lot of produce....BUT stupid thing is was that by the time I am planting my stuff....I realized something horrible......our soil is very "clayish". It was horrible. I wanted to cry. Its not like the wonderful black soil I had when I lived at chestnut. We had the wonderful Red River Valley soil. Wonderful. NOW............shit....I dont know if anything will grow honestly. But I tried. I planted lots of goodies...........2 different kinds of beans, 2 different kinds of lettuce, strawberries, mint, dill, asparagus, spinach, corn, potatoes, pumpkins, sunflowers, marigolds (yes they are in my garden), peppers, carrots, rhubarb, basil, and cucumbers, oh and tomatoes. SO yah, we have a very large garden. I just dont know if it will grow. Luckily majority of my produce are already plants and not seeds, so hopefully that will help! I will keep you posted.
But again, I am just tired. I am exhausted. I am tired and I am lonely. I want my kids back already. I had taken out hamburger to make the kids hamburgers, but they wont even be here for supper. I am just so sad. Anyway, thats ok. Moving on.
Speaking of moving on......noticed something?? Yep. It is back to being public. I have hidden a bunch of my old posts from my "previous life experiences". Some things are just better left unsaid. :0) Anyway, I dont have much more to say about that anymore. But I am excited to start sharing my experiences again!!
Brent is gone for flood duty in Bismarck, so that means I have to do the "chores" myself. This past week I had to mow the lawn. And trust me, that was epic. First it took me for literally fricking forever to get the damn lawnmower started!!!!! I know that makes me sounds like I am an idiot, but it was so complicated!!!! You have to put it in neutral or something dumb, and then push some other button. Then turn the key, and then once you have it started, you need to like push this black thing back in......so complicated. So then I was moving lawn, Not bad. I got majority of the house...ok....like 1/3 of it mowed, and then it started to get tricky. I then had to mow in the back where the sump pump hoses were so I had to constantly yell at Devon (no not because he was in trouble, so he could hear me over the mower) to move the hose this way or that way. Then to even get his attention I had to clap my hands way high over my head. I looked like an idiot. Well then I was mowing, and then pretty soon.....I was like half tire deep in water that still hasnt gone down by the shelter belt!!!! I seriously thought I was going to get stuck! But luckily I made it through. Devon was a great help. Then I got about half the house done. Then it started to get more troublesome. I was mowing by the "shit pile". This is where we have some concrete piled and old telephone poles. Anyway, a momma bird started attacking me!!! I was like what the hell!!!!! Well I then see this nest with eggs in it!!!! So ok, momma bird was freaking out. So then I had to make sure I was directing the lawn mower the correct way so the grass was not shooting out at her. Then I would yell, "its ok ma! I am not gonna hurt your babes!!" each time I passed. And for some reason...this seemed to pacify her.
During this time I almost got the lawn mower stuck in a pile of mud! Luckily I was able to rock it out. Then I go and try to mow part of the ditches. I knew I couldnt get it all because they are VERY slanty. So I made one swipe on the top......with me leaning WAY to one direction. I could just see myself rolling this thing. haha. Then made a couple swipes on the bottom. I had to be very creative because I hate having my body touch grass and trees or whatever, so I had to swing my legs this way and that, and then lift them high in the air because I was not going to let ditch grass or trees touch me. Well on one of the passes I see out of the corner of my eye three hand sized "somethings" run up the ditch in the high grass. So I proceed to scream.....at the top of my lungs......for a whole swipe. Thank Gosh I am in the country or people would think I was dying because I continued to scream. I turned the mower around to maybe hopefully run the damn things over (because I thought they were rats or something).....well here then three little baby......DUCKS.......came out of the grass. Black baby ducks waddling in front of the mower. THEN I started to scream because I felt so bad!!!!!!! I almost ran over tiny little babies!!!!!!!!!! I finished up that ditch, and worked on the other ditch. The other ditch was less epic, but I did get some of it mowed. All in all.....it took me about 8 hours to mow my yard. Yes in that time I had to run into town and get the kids, serve them a quick sandwich, and have some cuddle time......so maybe it took me about 6 hours. I was literally so drained and so tired after that, I could have died.
Fast forward now to today....the kids went to their grandparents this weekend, so I am by myself. Today I decided to plant the garden. That was crazy. ugh. The tiller was awesome and thank God for that!!! But it was SO heavy and it was so hard to maneuver. My hands still just hurt!! I have calluses! My nails are all ruined. I have dirt under my nails! And I even wore my cute rubber black and white boots!!!!!! ugh. Anyway, so I got it all tilled......and it ended up being bigger than what we had meant to because I couldnt control the tiller as well as I thought. SO Instead of a simple garden......Amy now has a massive 30X17 foot garden. yaaaaaahhhhhh folks I might have a lot of produce....BUT stupid thing is was that by the time I am planting my stuff....I realized something horrible......our soil is very "clayish". It was horrible. I wanted to cry. Its not like the wonderful black soil I had when I lived at chestnut. We had the wonderful Red River Valley soil. Wonderful. NOW............shit....I dont know if anything will grow honestly. But I tried. I planted lots of goodies...........2 different kinds of beans, 2 different kinds of lettuce, strawberries, mint, dill, asparagus, spinach, corn, potatoes, pumpkins, sunflowers, marigolds (yes they are in my garden), peppers, carrots, rhubarb, basil, and cucumbers, oh and tomatoes. SO yah, we have a very large garden. I just dont know if it will grow. Luckily majority of my produce are already plants and not seeds, so hopefully that will help! I will keep you posted.
But again, I am just tired. I am exhausted. I am tired and I am lonely. I want my kids back already. I had taken out hamburger to make the kids hamburgers, but they wont even be here for supper. I am just so sad. Anyway, thats ok. Moving on.
Speaking of moving on......noticed something?? Yep. It is back to being public. I have hidden a bunch of my old posts from my "previous life experiences". Some things are just better left unsaid. :0) Anyway, I dont have much more to say about that anymore. But I am excited to start sharing my experiences again!!
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